He is continually the kid who didn’t read the book and it’s book report day.

Shhh, don’t tell people. Don’t need it turning into some kind of trend.

I’m surprised anyone made it through the election without hearing about Trump’s decades-long bff relationship with John Casablancas, inventor of the supermodel, importer of Eastern European women, and noted child sexual predator. His preferred age was around 14.

It takes a special level of stupidity to brag about how stupid you are.

Also, Vermont is indirectly responsible for Bernie Bros.

I just used a “diverging diamond” interchange for the first time and I suddenly felt like I understood old people yelling about dang kids.

They just get the star. Trump gets the cookie. Otherwise he gets cranky.

Research suggests they’re making new white guys to replace them.

I have it on good (albeit drunken) authority that if he wants to continuously prove that he’s not cheating on his wife, it’s not women with whom he should avoid dining.

A reliable Audi is like a unicorn. If you’ve got one, kill it and drink its blood to gain its power.

Joke’s on them; 90% of the time the thing they’re advertising is something I either already bought or owned in the first place.

Nice try, shill for Big Cupcake!

I think Steve Bannon sees himself more as Judge Rico Dredd than anything else.

How can a country with 1.357 billion people face a refugee crisis from North Korea?

Omg this thread is triggering all kinds of ancient memories, I remember that, too! Was water seriously more valuable than gold or something when we were kids and just nobody ever talks about?

Presumably you’re not installing technology while a passenger on a flight. ;)

Cargo shorts are an abomination and the fact they’re allowed while leggings are not is insane.

I remember all that shit and I also remember multiple times kids passing out at stuff from dehydration, either under the bright lights of a holiday show put on for the parents (one of the tall kids dropped right off the back of the risers) or in the swimming pool because “what do you mean she didn’t drink enough…

I would totally use that at a wedding.