He wanted his “friends” on 4Chan to like him.

Unless this seemingly popular restaurant is secretly one of the worst-run businesses in the world, there’s about a 99.99999999987% chance that if a diner sent their food back *five* times, the problem is the diner, not the food or the management.

At Neil Gorsuch’s confirmation hearing today, Sen. Al Franken gave the judge a memorable grilling while Sen. Jeff Flake asked, and I quote: “Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?”

Extremely relevant Sondheim Birthday moment at 1:00 in.

He’s doing infomercials for one of those belly wrap fat burner things. So, basically his career ended abruptly and he never recovered. But hey, thanks to our absurd society, he can still collect a paycheck for pretending like wrapping your stomach with something will melt fat somehow, and even though it hasn’t existed…

That doesn’t really count because she stole every second of existence while she was here.

I have this working theory that the pitch for Will & Grace was, “The characters from Singin’ in the Rain are roommates together and the gay subtext is not a subtext.”

If she’s not mentally ill, it’s some seriously impressive blind racial hatred.

I have an idea for a show about a teacher named Art. I call that one “Art School.” And one about a Jewish guy who opens an ice-cream parlor. That one’s called “lce Cream Cohen.” And a drama about two cops — one named Cash and one named Carrie. I don’t have a title for that one. — Kenneth Parcell

The photo looks like he’s wearing lip gloss. I don’t know why, but I feel like there’s a story here.

“Well, I was on the way to a pitbull fight, and a Dominican friend of mine was like, ‘Yo, that should be your name’.”- Pitbull telling Jeb Bush how he got his name

Americans have choices, and they’ve got to make a choice. So rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love and want to go spend hundreds of dollars on that, maybe they should invest in their own health care.

I always have to smell the detergent port on machines at the laundromat because people apparently get crazy with the powdered bleach in those things and I’ve had ALL my clothes come out fucked before. And the laundromat NEVER cleans those things out.

When he said he was going to drain the swamp, what he actually meant was not the jargon-y description of Washington but actual wetlands, which he removed from protection from the Clean Water Act last week so that he can keep building golf courses where he shouldn’t build golf courses.

TIL Bijou Phillips was born to a heroin-addict mother, found out at 13 that her dad had been raping her sister for a decade, emancipated herself into a life of drugs and sex in NYC at 14, became a Scientologist, married a Scientologist who now appears to also be a rapist, and is currently sitting in a hospital bed…

Their khakis and chinos also come in different fits. Maybe the ones you tried were slimmer than the 770?

Their khakis and chinos also come in different fits. Maybe the ones you tried were slimmer than the 770?

Almond milk isn’t so hot for the environment either. Ask California.

Super reliable, too. I’ve had mine for over a decade and the only issue I’ve had is a leaky relief valve but that was an easy, cheap fix. And it’s gotten plenty of use, both trimming out rooms and filling up bike/car/etc tires.

Super reliable, too. I’ve had mine for over a decade and the only issue I’ve had is a leaky relief valve but that…

Mine has a relief valve on the bottom. The stock valve is a screw-in design so you can gradually let the air out. I would be surprised if they have ditched that feature.

Mine has a relief valve on the bottom. The stock valve is a screw-in design so you can gradually let the air out. I…