Something has changed within me--

Rather than painting a book bag green and lugging it into the air, I present a more elegant solution:

Right? Making a little green backpack harness to stash books for some sky reading? That’s so damn endearing!

No judgement. You could think of it as a preying mantis sort of ritual kill.

Your housemate was a monster! The season 1 finale was a masterpiece.

holy fuck no. No one is cute enough to not get screamed at for doing this. I would go as far as to say this falls into mean territory.

I would murder this person, and be completely justified in doing so. Don’t fuck with my books!

This is like when my cat pees in anger because I won’t let him into my bedroom at 3am.

What an egotistical jerk. I would totally not call him again after the sex.

When I hear actors tell these “behind-the-scenes endearing” stories that are actually terrible about their costars, I like to believe it’s purposeful and they’re finally taking their revenge with a smile, faking cluelessness with a morning talk show host.

When I was on maternity leave, I was reading “Where the Heart Is.” My husband decided the book was making me too depressed (thanks Oprah!), so he HID IT FROM ME before he went to work. I should have divorced him then. This was 22 years ago, and it still stands out in my memory as the first of many disrespectful things…

he just became far less attractive to me, and she, far more.

Oh my god. The person who rips my book would have his balls fed to him through his nostrils. BOOKS ARE FRIENDS. RESPECT BOOKS, DAMMIT. Even my six and three year olds learned this lesson early.

I would murder him.

we truly live in the worst possible timeline

What I can really tell from all these “just no” comments is that this is a very young crowd. Wait until you’re dealing with sun spots or melasmas on your face that look like you just got poked with the hard end of a cue stick. There’s nothing wrong with something to blend those spots in. I’m comfortable in my…

Everything is made of chemicals.

I’m gonna pass on this, but you do you. A couple things to note though: Beware of exfoliating scrubs or soaps. Really read the label and what it’s made of. A lot of the cheap stuff is just tiny bits of plastic that are hazardous to the environment. Also, try to use unscented products if you can. A lot of the scent…

If you feel like this is an awful lot of products, a good BB (aka CC) cream will moisturize, prime, color-correct, and conceal. Not as well as a specialized product of equivalent quality, but well enough. Especially if you’re easing into wearing makeup for the first time.

I try and look good all the time, aaaaand nope. It has benefited me greatly, and I can’t think of a single reason why I would stress about it.