Not at all! But I tend to grok transitively, so what do I know?

But surely so ragtag a grouping requires a “Hot take:” prefix? Have ever even read Neuromancer, I wonder? ‘Cuz I sincerely question whether you can jam with the console cowboys in cyberspace.

I read this as Perfection: The Series, and now I’m really curious what that would look like. Could be pretty surreal.

You know who might actually be good on a show like this? Wayne Knight.

Cheerfully withdrawn.

I don’t get it. Trains are...OK. Aren’t they? What exactly did he do to deserve this? Am I supposed to appreciate the timing? The art? The sheer cruelty? Is there an element of parody that’s been lost on me? Is it a reference to Aspie train obsessives? Or is this meant merely to remind viewers of a more substantive…

Counterpoint: “Gaia.” I’m willing to bet that was just somebody clearing their throat.

He’s probably just glad his band is back in the press, so long after its bitter split from Earth, Wind & Fire.

I dunno...I wonder if Competent Trump might not be a hard sell on the die-hards...given that he doesn’t really sound that much like Trump at all!

That’s terrifying. But they’d presumably also have to share his privilege and psychological damage, and it’s awfully hard to imagine all of those things co-existing so potently alongside anything resembling self-control or awareness.

I like squirrels. I do. But I always find myself wishing they were raccoons. Sorry, squirrels!

If this guy is a songwriter first, and a comedian second, I wonder if he isn’t only too deftly aware of the benefits of prioritizing structure—cadence, grammar, meter, whatever you want to call it—over substance, including vocabulary. I’m not saying that excuses his jokes (any more than I would say hate speech is…

Better idea: Get one of those hunky Aussie brothers onboard, and do the Jeremy Hawke thriller version:

Yeah, you know who else is on DuckTales? Scrooge McDuck. Who has so much money he literally swims in it.

Didn’t Trebek’s Wheel counterpart, Pat Sajak, once get a few acting roles, as himself? If so, I think he deserves some credit. Not everyone would have the stomach to play that fucker.

I generally agree, but my single favorite segment as a kid was a U.S. Acres: Orson (I think) cites an ordered list of increasingly convoluted and absurd definitions for “Close Encounters,” beyond “The Third Kind.” (I was a big David Letterman fan, come to think of it—maybe I just liked weird lists.)

They said one thing, then they said another. For all we know now, they’re two bottles of R.C. Cola with googly eyes that have never even met. You can’t trust these fuckers!

It’s terrible. We should trick them all into changing their name to “Homer,” then make the entire internet a No Homers Club. That way there could only be one, at most.

But isn’t the reason for that perfectly clear? If we learned that lesson about dumb Die Hard arguments, we might then have to apply it to other sorts of conversations — and then we’d risk actually growing the fuck up and, god help us all, surviving as a species.

All soup silliness aside, he really is a favorite of mine, though he clearly lacks the range to do justice to many preexisting characters. It never surprises me when people criticize his work in Coppola’s Dracula or Branagh’s Much Ado About Nothing, and I bet Constantine must have been just as bothersome.