My 4yo just told the dog to “BE GONE, THOT! TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!”

Lots of “formers” in there...

But why are her eyebrows 4 shades lighter than her hair? WHY EMMA?

Hammer out the chicken so it’s flat and less than an inch thick. If we’re just doing sandwiches and a few nuggets for the little one, I use a premade chicken batter from House Autry. Add a little cayenne to it if I want spicy sandwiches, but otherwise it’s a really good basic batter mix. Pan fry, don’t bother with…

So I previously had no desire to try this sandwich because I don’t like pickles or mayo on my sandwiches and I felt like I had already experienced fried chicken on a bun, no need for waiting an hour in line. But if this thing is gonna be the new McRib, I guess I actually have to try it this time. There are EIGHT…

Every time I read “The Raisens” I start singing “Heard it Through the Grapevine” in my head. Do y’all remember the commercial that had the singing raisins?

I honestly thought that was a tongue-in-cheek parody comment from the author.

No fucking wa- OH MY GOD IT IS

Maybe 2nd bro is 4th bro that just shaved and put on a tie.

This sounds like the equivalent of a very vague “bitches better come at me instead of talking about me” social media status update where they don’t tag anyone or confirm who they’re talking about, so there’s plausible deniability in hopes the person they’re actually talking about confronts them over it looking jealous…

One of my BFFs from high school worked on this film (airing Nov 23): https://www.hallmarkchannel.com/christmas-at-graceland-home-for-the-holidays 

This is a dumpster fire and I honestly can’t figure out who I’m supposed to believe lit it. 

Who fucking cares?

100% will buy when available if they aren’t pink.

beefy pinchy skin chunk

What is the point of this book, though?

Oh man, they’re gonna kick our asses next week.

*groans*

Just after you swallow your Ambien, stand in front of your full-length mirror in your shimmering turquoise lamé onesie and astronaut’s helmet. Who even are you Barbara? Is it who you wanted to be?

This sounds like a cassette tape that’s been recorded over a million times.