As a Californian, I'm disappointed in our boring question. We need a better one, like "Do Republicans poop?"

"When is Jesus coming?" That is something I wouldn't be bold enough to google…at least not with images.

Quiet! We were keeping this news from Texas and now you spoiled it.

GEORGIA: "Who created God? / Who is in the Illuminati? / What is calamari?"

"When is Cinco de Mayo" is so much stupider.

No, people ARE googling "How to make a baby," but the correct answer to this is "Don't." If you have to google it…

Jamie Bell is even more of a little girl than Hiddleston. Are they determined to ruin this franchise?

A Mad Men style James Bond does seem like the way to go, if you're determined not to update the guy by casting Idris Elba.

What the hell are they eating in South Dakota?

Who won the Civil War is pretty sad, too.

It would be stranger if they could FIND the internet. Let's hide it from them.

Except that's Utah. And a perfectly reasonable question.

Arkansas and Texas hahahaha.

This probably isn't the role she's playing, but wouldn't she be damn perfect as T'Pau?

Honestly, you could just skip to the finale episode. The whole season was a stop-and-start exercise in getting us to the final scene, which sets up the premise, and THEN presumably the story starts….

The whole West Coast was irradiated by drifting isotopes and we're all slowly dying but the gubmint is covering it up.

Then how could it be elbows, plural? I'm starting to doubt this story.

I'm surprised the KFC legend hasn't morphed into Col. Sanders' missing left hand going on a strangling binge…probably crawling under toilet stalls.

So YOU'RE the guy who got Scrotal Recall a second season!

At the very least, they could acknowledge the one-star rating. "Tired of seeing our high-quality, award-winning dramas? Time to avail yourself of your favorite mind-altering substance that will make the presence of Adam Sandler/Ashton Kutcher/the superannuated cast of Full House tolerable for an evening." I write…