My dad and I always watch It’s A Wonderful Life, adding our own Mystery Science Theater-style commentary on how terrible George Bailey’s life is going. After that, the best Christmas movie of all-Bad Santa.

I'm confused-should you be flattered or embarrassed if someone passes on you? Are people trying to find an evenly matched opponent, or just some nerdlinger/dingus to beat up?

Go get your shine-box, Butterfield...

Some scientists believe that the Krell wonders were used to store grain...

Remember, it’s not really a lie if you believe it.

Pitch Perfect 3: Aca-Zombacalypse...

My parents had a good friend who owned a country house in the Mohawk Valley of New York, basically your prime-scary-Lovecraftian geography. We would generally spend a few weekends a year up their with my uncle and his wife, which were all timed to occur in the Fall-the scariest/worst season. As someone growing up in…

The inner Indiana Jones is me is really interested in the Anasazi culture, so I’ve done quite a bit of hiking in Southern Utah. I’ve always found it to be-while not scary-very eerie. I try not to be too much of a spiritualist, but I can’t help but think that there is some lingering element of the original inhabitants…

I have the same iPod I purchased in 2005, still going strong. Can you believe this thing, 2005-era friends, a color screen! Wow!

It’s lame, but I kind of miss the ritual of choosing which CDs to bring with me to school and periodically organizing my giant CD binder. And now I feel even lamer because I can picture myself recounting these tales to future bored nieces and nephews fiddling around with their iPhone15 Brain-to-Phone bluetooth…

Hmmm, I’m not sure Ernie is ready to concede this to the Mets-the Commisioner could still suspend the rules of baseball!

Note to self: Learn the craft of being a butler, buttle for urban boomers in exchange for room and board, start blog about my zany ‘Upstairs Downstairs’ antics, sell blog to publisher, become rich, buy expensive condo, hire young person as a butler to teach me how to use my iBrain implant...

As a former porn star and five time Ultimate Smackdown wrestling champion, President Camacho is infinitely more qualified than any of the Republican candidates...

I know, I’m talking about the difference between your average coked up 80’s asshole and today. I’m thinking along the lines of David Mamet, another person who has gone beyond your average ‘Things were better in my day’ ranting into full blown Tea Party lunacy. These people are losing touch with their sanity.

Oh, I’ll go and say it—I really think that this late stage lapse into fascistic conservatism is a form of mental illness, comparable to alzheimer’s. I’m not absolving Trump, just saying that I think this is a symptom of certain people becoming susceptible to these crazy machinations as they age.

*Puts on Humblebrag hat*

Who am I? I’m the fahkin’ Sunfish, you must be the othah’ guy.

That actually sounds kind of like The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury...which is good. But mixed with solving crimes...which is bad.

A second important lesson, don’t forget your glasses...