“This kid Jesus used to come around to the Pharisees with his sandal-shine kit. Use to called him Spit Shine Jesus.”

What this movie really drove home was that it could just happen at any time. That’s what’s really terrifying, that you could just wake up one morning at find the emergency broadcast system playing. Either way, this is a tremendously influential movie.

Benny Agbayani!

I long for the day when the FBI could investigate paranormal happenings in rural America instead of Russian collusion in our elections...

This is my favorite part. Make sure to short those positions on tech IPOs, Goldman, and make sure to hedge your current funds with investments in crossbows, shoulder pads, and canned beans!

This is dumb. Even I feel it didn’t “end the world,” even if a pre-emptive nuclear strike was successful, is would set a terrifying precedent. The Pandora’s Box of using tactical nuclear weapons would be opened. What would stop Pakistan and India executing tactical nuclear attacks? Or China, or Russia? The only way…

Back when Obama was President a part of me wanted him to respond to these staged Putin photos by doing his own feats of strength in the White House lawn. Now? Not so much.

Reminds me of that scene in A Christmas Story when the little brother gets shoved to the ground by the neighborhood bully. “Sanchez lay there like a slug...it was his only defense.”

The first work of art was pretty tone-deaf...but it’s also pretty tone-deaf to say that this is “not about censorship” when you are explicitly asking for someone to be censored and blacklisted.

Pearl Harbor. Yes, the Michael Bay, Ben Affleck, Jon Voight standing up from his damn wheelchair Pearl Harbor. But that montage of sailors drownin, man...there’s one particular shot where people’s hands are reaching up from flooded compartments through holes in the ship’s deck until they just stop...that’s when the…

I am assuming that Stephen Miller ordered a duplicate of that Steve Bannon-as-Napoleon painting, and has it hanging in his apartment just like Paulie Walnuts kept the Tony Soprano-as-Napoleon portrait...

Seeing as he is from Florida, I’m guessing bath salts. They can cause psychosis and PCP-like strength. There was a kid last year who bit someone’s face off and withstood multiple tastes before the police could tackle him.

Lance?

If it make you feel any better, you may die even sooner than you think. There is a submarine base in New London, CT. that will probably be targeted enough to glass over a good deal of western Connecticut. Cheers!

He’s a total bozo.

He had better hope that he never gets into a fight with his new pal. Putin seems to prefer radiation poisoning to Facebook unfriending when it comes to fights between friends.

It’s only been 27 years since the Berlin Wall fell. 25 since the Soviet Union broke apart. 30+ years since Reagan’s Presidency. I used to think that it took a generation for these kind of existential fears to die off, but there are people who lived through the McCarthy hearings that don’t seem to care about Russian…

Or Pogs. Saying, “Newt Gingrich is back! In Pog form!” may be one of the few ways to help get through this next term.

Yeah, unfortunately the White House can’t just stop functioning for a few weeks out of spite to prove what a lazy, incompetent dipshit he is. And you know damn well that everyone around Trump plans on enabling his behavior for as long as he is President. “All done with the briefing, Mr. President? Of course you can…