Do your worst, Trump! Oh, are you going to release your wig? Or the bees? Or the wig with bees in it so when the wind blows it shoots bees at you?

Do you girls want a little bit of cocaine? Because if you are going to get high I’d rather you do it in the house.

Not pictured: Miss Vermont spending hours balancing chemical equations and memorizing formulas.

Marchman...this is only a ‘fail-off’ if you are the Nationals, who have scuffled through the entire season and will once again likely make nothing out of a supposedly dominant roster. In the time you were beating yourself senseless the Nationals went 0-12 after surrendering the lead and the next coming of Ted Williams…

Moments before the incident...

Elephants and children might seem nice and fun now, but just wait until those elephants get really hungry.

Obligatory...

Every time I see that name I think of Nash Bridges...and then I’m just confused because why would the kids be into a fifteen year old police procedural starring Don Johnson and Cheech Marin?

Honestly, who among us did Nazi this happening?

I’m terrified that the summer is already over here. Please just let me have Labor Day, Washington!

Honestly, I think the problem isn’t so much gun ownership, but the motivation most people in the country have for purchasing weapons in the first place. When was the last time you heard a ‘gun enthusiast’ talk about hunting? Hell, at your average Cabella’s or Bass Pro, hunting rifles are displayed off to the side,…

Finally, a voice that can solve the many problems facing Bird Law in this country...

Glass half-full take; this ‘tattoo for every place toured’ means he will have to eventually stop touring and making music, once his body is entirely covered in odd tattoos. It’s hump day people, think positive....

I can’t say I’ve seen London, and I ain’t never been to France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I’ll tell you what-after seeing Sam Elliot recite Taylor Swift lyrics, well, I guess I seen something every bit as stupefying as you’d see in any of them other places. And in…

Yeah, I’m going to need Imitation Coulier and Imitation Stamos wearing yarmulkes to be turned into a meme immediately...And no, I am not sorry for cackling with laughter at that sight even though it was a funeral scene for Imitation Saget’s sister.

Apropos of nothing, I feel like there should be a cologne called Essence of Coulier.

I feel kind of bad for him. Just think about the razzing messages from friends he’s going to be getting tonight...and tomorrow night. And probably every other night after that until he either EGOTs or dies.

Since this is a safe space I’ll admit to following the Jets...Probably the only team that can have the QB getting his jaw broken in a locker room fight be seen as a potential positive. I think I’ll mostly be following my other team, the Dillon Panthers, through the magic of Netflix. Texas forever, Six...And, as my…

I like how the extreme ‘too-small-ness’ of the shirt is counterbalanced by the extreme bagginess of the jeans.

Don’t go away, bears! Please!