It’s too damn hot in Washington right now. Once again I waited too long to buy a fan and now I refuse to fall victim to the jacked up prices. I’m running out of windows to open or layers to remove. I’m just going to have to assume a G&T will cure this.

Better get copies of the patent on those before someone eats the original...

So, what percentage of America is currently being filmed for a reality TV show? I’ll say 15%.

I for one welcome our new Jendashian overlords. And, as a noted consumer of pop culture, let me add that I would be quite useful in rounding up proles to work in the eyeliner mines...

1. Consume any number of intoxicants that would make you hungry

I do like to go to the flagship store and graze on the free cheese curd samples...then leave because you’re out of your mind if you think I’m paying that much money for some cheese.

Just have a regular martini, people. It’s crisp, it’s refreshing, you get to feel like you’re in a Peter O’Toole movie whilst drinking it-there is literally no downside. I’m going to have one right now.

Paulie was a good son. I always tell my own ma, “When the time comes, I’ll absolutely off any nursing home bullies you encounter.”

*Ties bandana around forehead, begins sharpening spear*

Don’t start shit, won’t be shit...

That Dolphin’s got some good technique.

Pine Barrens is such an awesome episode of The Sopranos.

If the buzz is any indication, this is gonna be huge.

I’m freakin’. What does this have to do with Beacon Plumbing and Heating?

In one of my favorite historical novels, called Arundel, the protagonist actually has a pet seal. I guess what I’m saying is that it really is possible to have a seal as a pet and anyone who didn’t collect this guy has only themselves to blame.

Not to be a downer, but this unit was one of many overrun during the Japanese invasion of the Philippines which occurred a few months after these photos were taken. This beard contest was probably one of the last nice things they experienced for a long time.