Nothing against Elizabeth Banks, but this is the face I imagined while reading the Hunger Games trilogy's descriptions of Effie Trinket.

Did that as in that exact person, or that sort of person?

Is it just me, or is this performance blending the line between musical act and bad sketch?

Um, hello, hot guitar guy. Where have you been all my life?

Wrong pronouns, Seth. Transphobia is stupid. Don't be stupid.

I was trying to reply to myself yesterday, and it would not allow me to do so, so I got in a tizz and gave up. Let me try again, and this time with bonus video of the performance:

For many years, I had two pieces of paper folded in my wallet. On one, I had written a bible verse. On the other, I had written the finale of Margaret Cho's Notorious C.H.O. I'll quote it in the reply so as to not take up too much space here.

I agree with you. The last thing she says is that "they fit in the windows." The windows on those playhouses don't open, so she's probably talking about the fact that the cameras could film her through the windows. Poor thing.

I can't tell you how much I love you right now for making this comment. I have been trying to place why he seemed familiar to me for, oh, three years now. I suppose I could have visited his IMDB page, but waiting three years for another commenter to fix the problem for me suddenly and surprisingly was actually much…

And just imagine - if abortion wasn't legal, there would be a much larger market of enterprising, unregulated abortion providers who would be more than willing to accept a bunch of cash to ignore the fact that their patient had been coerced.

The little poufy tail! I can't take it.

She can flat-out sing.

Charles Barkley with hair is the funniest thing I've seen all show.

I think it was because he was pretty much the only guy when it came to sword fighting in Hollywood. He choreographed everything from Erol Flynn's movies to Star Wars to the Princess Bride ("You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you." "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.") to Pirates of the Caribbean.

Oh. I had forgotten how much I hate this bit. Now I remember.

They look like splints.

Yeah - sadly, any attempt at giving someone a look when I am crying just ends up looking like a cry for help, so I just bury my face and wave people off.

I watch this Christmas special as though it is just a part of church that I do at home. Religiously, that is.

I am openly weeping in front of strangers. This is new.

I would totally be the one to mix this token up with my other money and end up putting it in the church collection box or my grandmother's birthday card. It is a good thing for me that sex coins have gone out of vogue.