The Brosnan movies all have this strange tone where it's not quite funny enough to be Silly Bond and not quite dramatic enough to be Serious Bond, so you're left with kind of a bland mess each time. At least with Die another day you can practically hear the "Ah, fuck it" and it commits to its inner Moonraker, so we…

Watching Casino Royale opening night was one of the best times I've had in theaters since being a kid. Fuck anyone who says its too serious or not 'fun'. It's great fun…for adults. The only thing I'd change about it is to dump Giancarlo Giannini's obvious explaining what's happening at the poker table lines.

BECAUSE SHE DISCOVERED RADIATION ON HIS PUBIS!

Well I need to know how outraged I should be.

Well I sure hope it passes the Bechdel test otherwise I'll be so outraged I might post something about it on twitter!

So is the random lesbian scene empowering, or problematic?

Oh.

He looks like he's 40 and desperately trying to look 26.

Yeah, I mean Paramount is under no obligation to help them out at all. It'd just be incredibly easier to do it the other way, but FUCK NO, we demand a 100% authentic mustache, because that's what Mission Impossible is all about! Change a few sentences and this is basically an Onion article. We're in a world where…

This is like…nuts. Obviously the Paramount people are being total dicks. It would make the most sense for Cavill to shave it off and then wear a fake stache for the rest of his MI scenes, but no, they just want to say fuck you to another studio.

I think you're exaggerating the "all this talk", which seems more like a tiny minority of people on the internet, most of whom don't actually watch Bond movies

So you can get in line now.

"Orlando Bloom’s fellow ass-kicker"

Yeah there was a flurry where any show that was even vaguely off-kilter or had any kind of eccentric element to it was instantly branded "The new Twin Peaks!"

Watched the first two episodes of Ozark on Netflix. It's pretty good! Obviously there's a strong Breaking Bad influence here with the whole white collar guy entering the world of gangsters and crime but I'm liking it, and Jason Bateman does a good sorta-asshole antihero type.

The AV Club

Candy?

Yeah, OK. I watched the first one and it was fine and everything. I liked that it was sort of this scrappy unknown little show that came out of nowhere. Now its seemingly on the level of Star Wars for a lot of people, you can see the trailer doing that self-important thing where "OMG…(person) is BACK!". What am I…

The last watch was in your heart all along.

-Sir, reports just in that Lena Dunham and Ryan Murphy have combined forces!
-(gulp) Get me the Pentagon.