Perhaps the groomie wants to have his cake and eat it too. But any excuse for more cake sounds legit to me.

How can I tell if my cat is in pain? I guess I never looked at my cat when he shits, but today I noticed a funny type look when he handling his business. He looked really uncomfortable and was breathing heavily while he was in there. Also, sometimes I notice splotches of blood in his poop when I clean his litter…

What the hell is a groom's cake? Do I not know this because I'm not married or because I too am from Wisconsin?

The only thing worse than footy pajamas is Christmas themed footy pajamas. I saw some at Target and I wanted to hide them so no one would dare buy them. And as for the candy situation, I'm still here typing so I'm trying to hold off. We shall see...

I have a horrible sweet tooth and I'm debating driving to the grocery store for the sole purpose of Twizzlers and Jolly Ranchers. Currently wearing fugly pajamas and only slippers will match. Should I do it?

This is wonderful. I just got into a horrible argument with a friend about bitchy empolyees. This girl takes the cake. I'm posting this on her Facebook wall this instant.

If we are talking about a 12 year old that plans to spend a day on the beach there isn't anything wrong with trimming it up. I wish my mom would have explained those things and I'd have avoided the embassment when I realized that I had some noticable stray hairs. Forcing a kid to do it is another issue but letting…

Oh yeah, I remember that now. Also she said eventually she had surgery on them.

I just saw an interview where she spoke about how pissed she was that her mother lied to her for most of her life. As a small child she looked exactly like her mother with Clark Gable's funky ears, everyone knew but her. I was sorry to read this today, may she rest in peace.

May I suggest a sarcastic grow-your-own pointsettia. It comes in what looks like an aluminum soda can, is available at your local dollar store, and will probably never even germinate so you can at least say you tried.

Also, my drunk relative slurring "I ain't doooin Christmas no more!". Shut up, you know you are hosting again next year and it'll be your idea.

Not to be an ungrateful asshole, but I hate opening gifts. What if I hate it? I'm a bad liar.

"Just put it in the oven, who cares!" Does this woman have a PhD in making fucking sense?

I lost it when I read "Oh my God! Its a dead baby!".

I use Bare Escentuals Prime Time. I love it.

It has a gel like consistency and goes on before you put on makeup. In my personal opinion, it works great and creates a smooth surface and makes your skin really soft, I use less foundation and it stays on longer. Some people may say its bullshit but I got a sample at Sephora once and have used it since.

Eh, I love primer and wear in almost everyday. No matter what I'm wearing, it makes my face look pulled the fuck together.

Face primer is something that is applied after lotion but before foundation/powder. I swear by it. It makes foundation go on smoother and just makes the skin on my face softer. I dunno, I got a sample of it once at Sephora and I've used it ever since.

My top musical top five is contantly changing but as of today it goes something like this:

Haha, I'm sorry this happened to you, but thank you for the laugh!