Like many homophobes, there is a high probability that Pence covets lube and glitter and RuPaul.

He took all those pills to keep them away from others.

Prince died 4 us. Least we could do is buy a reissue of his biggest album.

I have had a copy of "We Can Fuck" on a bootleg since 1988. #FAKENEWS

New Democratic Party: "Living wage, listen to other countries, healthcare for all, stop poisoning the Earth, and everyone will get sky cake!"
Voters: "I don't understand the other stuff, but OMFG SKY CAKE YOU GUYS!"
Dems win.

It is deucedly difficult to get Hillary Clinton supporters to reflect on why the campaign didn't work, meaning why, as a functioning adult who should have cleaned Trump's clock by all reasonable measures, the race was tight enough to let Trump win by a weird lucky bounce of the Electoral College football. For many,…

Chick yourself before you wreck yourself.

Shorty Tyrion and Runt Lover Daenerys just give up! Losers! Also heard Sansa bled in King's Landing. Covfefe morghulis.

Putin's fingers wiggle up in there and Trump's mouth moves.

Or Sparks.

Depends on whether you count U.S. dollars or Russian rubles.

PHIL LORD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE COMPANY!

"LOOKS LIKE YOU BROKE INTO THE WRONG GODDAMN REC ROOM, DIDN'T YA?" Reba McIntyre was also good as Gross' spouse.

"Stop wasting water on the burning house. Let's pour it on Nick and wash him up, everybody!"

So long as our nation keeps hounding Johnny Depp, Kathy Griffin, and Bill Maher more than the President things'll be fine.

No, no, no. They'd happily take one, then bellyache about how everyone else's government-provided snowblower was an entitlement program.

And Texas has more teens doing it in the pooper to keep Jesus from crying, which is also braggable.

Early on in the #Pizzagate maelstrom I tweeted a link to Snopes debunking the whole thing. I immediately got tweets accusing me of supporting pederasty and child slavery. Not a high point for our species.

The dragon's weakness is lack of emotional commitment.

Ser Pounce is now Chekov's cat. It will turn out that White Walkers are vulnerable to Valerian steel, dragonglass, and cats. It will be Ser Pounce's Pussy Battalion that will end up on the Iron Throne for good.