For maximum torture, one of WFMU's contributors put out a six hour all-Jingle Bells mix a few years ago. It's a holiday tradition to see how far I can get into it before bailing.

The on-a-gum-wrapper version: Dude did a segment/one-man show about the Chinese electronics factory where they make Apple crap and made up a lot of details. Ira Glass dedicated a whole show to pinning the dude's ears back (as much as he could while still retaining Ira Glass-ness) while explaining/apologizing for where…

Consumer advisory: The Rockabye Baby version of Nirvana's "Heart Shaped Box" is the last thing you hear before the army of killer toys comes to get you.

As far as books go, Life + 70 is actually pretty straightforward compared to the US mix-and-match. If you can't make your investment back in two lifetimes, you should've become an accountant.

I love the core Beatles catalog, but as I found out when I was under one of those "lie still for a half-hour" medical imaging machines a few years ago, I can close my eyes and hear any of those songs in my memory at this point. I'm not putting up my money again unless there's something special coming to market.

The biggest bummer is that it turns out Frank Conniff found out about the casting on Twitter, like another punk in the street.

I…I…don't even know how to process that sentence without punching something.

Somebody really needs to check in on Frank Bolle. A lot of strip artists that didn't make it to 90 have died at the drawing board in the past few decades, and this final year of 3-G reminded me of the endgame of Pogo, where you could tell how much agony Walt Kelly's illness had him in by how small and featureless his…

It's obviously a super-secret review for TV Club obsessives like us.

"Of course should all the presidential candidates claim their 12 minutes and five seconds, NBC will have to dedicate more than three hours of programming to them."

Screw the industry groups. I know what I feel deep in my heart is THE TRUTH.

Without giving too much away, Google Alerts make it easy to be an obsessive story stalker with much less effort than the old days.

When it's 2015 and Weekend Update is the highlight of the night, you know you've sat through something legendarily bad.

He was slightly more game in 2004 when he wasn't pretending to be a politician. He wasn't any more of an actor, though.

Quick note on the cold open: This is the second cast member that's tried to get a hook into Rachel Maddow and only came back with "good diction".

They're paying Larry the $5k bounty anyway, which gives you a strong hint of what DeportRacism was really in it for.

H…he…
HE EVEN LEAKED INTO FIVE TO ONE LAND.
…
*uncontrollable sobbing*

So…episode two from '75 is going to be the Land of Gorch and Paul Simon telling the Bees to get off the stage?

Inventory turned into Cracked.com so gradually I never even noticed.

This can't be repeated often enough. Borders didn't go out of business just because of Amazon. Borders went out of business because it was run by a carload of clowns.