I…I…don't even know how to process that sentence without punching something.

Somebody really needs to check in on Frank Bolle. A lot of strip artists that didn't make it to 90 have died at the drawing board in the past few decades, and this final year of 3-G reminded me of the endgame of Pogo, where you could tell how much agony Walt Kelly's illness had him in by how small and featureless his…

It's obviously a super-secret review for TV Club obsessives like us.

"Of course should all the presidential candidates claim their 12 minutes and five seconds, NBC will have to dedicate more than three hours of programming to them."

Screw the industry groups. I know what I feel deep in my heart is THE TRUTH.

Without giving too much away, Google Alerts make it easy to be an obsessive story stalker with much less effort than the old days.

When it's 2015 and Weekend Update is the highlight of the night, you know you've sat through something legendarily bad.

He was slightly more game in 2004 when he wasn't pretending to be a politician. He wasn't any more of an actor, though.

Quick note on the cold open: This is the second cast member that's tried to get a hook into Rachel Maddow and only came back with "good diction".

They're paying Larry the $5k bounty anyway, which gives you a strong hint of what DeportRacism was really in it for.

H…he…
HE EVEN LEAKED INTO FIVE TO ONE LAND.
…
*uncontrollable sobbing*

So…episode two from '75 is going to be the Land of Gorch and Paul Simon telling the Bees to get off the stage?

Inventory turned into Cracked.com so gradually I never even noticed.

This can't be repeated often enough. Borders didn't go out of business just because of Amazon. Borders went out of business because it was run by a carload of clowns.

QP was so good at being quietly creepy. I've got a thing for "My Son John", the story of a man who finds a way to bring back the son he lost during the war and gets a little more than he bargained for.

All at a dazzling 480i compression rate!

The thing you've got to understand about the smark audience is that they're the core audience, the base of the ratings numbers that never moves because more likely than not, this is what they've been into for a large part of their lives. Even on a miserable show, there's usually one match that reminds them why they…

It says something that the one thing I remember with certainty from last night without being reminded by reading a column like this is the guy proposing to his girlfriend during the Cena/Ziggler match and Cena actually stopping the match to acknowledge that she said yes. In other words, the one thing that WWE had no…

Here, have one on me: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Definitely thanks for doing it. If there's anything I've learned from twenty years on the Internet, it's to never underestimate the potential audience for ephemera.