Really. REALLY.

If that's what he was going for, I think his "prom king" metaphor got in the way…massively.

I can't help but wonder if a key part of it was how much smoke the pop culture press can blow up one man's ass before he starts belching smoke rings. That he wasn't just a comedian, like he kept insisting over and over, but THE Comedian. The Only Comedian of Record. That probably makes Bill Maher a little cranky.

The first rule that the Internet forgets: Some things just aren't for us. Or just "you", depending on whether it's for me or not.

At the risk of saying this on every web site where I find this story:

Thanks to my cable company's reshuffling of the deck, not everybody has C-SPAN anymore.

Heston was a better Supreme Being when he was dressing down Oral Roberts on Saturday Night Live.

Your statement has been duly noted, Brain In A Jar.

Between her boisterous entrance music and (presumably) the sexual predator database, she's a little bit easier to track.

You still have C-SPAN….

I don't think you all realize the implications of this announcement.

Twitter makes EVERYBODY a colossal ass. That's why you have to do colossal ass covering.

They had just barely started teasing what you're talking about when the Ferguson protests heated up, and you could make an argument that it would've looked like a unforgivably cynical cash-in on violent civil unrest (instead of the running-off-at-the-mouth-forever civil unrest represented by Zeb Coulter) if they had…

"According to Wikipedia, “Stevie Richards” apparently beat both Shawn Michaels and Triple H for the World Heavyweight Title."

If the rumor mill is to be believed, Neville's cape is a compromise from what VKM wanted to do originally, which was to send him out in a Mighty Mouse costume. The rationale was that he's powerful, he's shorter than 8 feet tall, and he's got big ol' ears. What we saw last night was a compromise.

The Yahoo Screen app for Roku played this week's episode straight through without ad breaks, but for some reason it immediately decided I wanted to watch episode 2, the way that a lot of Youtube playlists run in reverse chronological order.

Didn't MTV already ruin Wuthering Heights with a Cali-based update? A little bit over ten years ago…in grandpa times.

But should we skip The Labradoodle of the Baskervilles?

Let's be fair. They could've done any number of things, but it still would've been Fandango.

This, please. BUGSY MCGRAW FOR PRESIDENT.