After the look of last night’s game, it’s more likely that Crystal Palace will end up scoring 246 goals in the Premier League than the Calgary Flames scoring 1 in the NHL.

A significant portion of ESPN’s viewers don’t give women any clout in sports. Rachel Nichols has the most prominent role of any of ESPN’s shows. Molly Qerim is essentially a referee for two men shouting belligerently. I don’t even want to know what men think when Jessica Mendoza calls baseball games.

Is it just me or did this movie go through a lot of changes as a result of focus groups?

Presented by Hillary Swank?

The fact that a gibbering idiot can be regarded as presidential by reading a teleprompter for five minutes without noticeably gibbering shows just how far America has fallen.

I’m a gun owner in a rural state with incredibly lax gun laws and I can say with authority that literally every gun owner I know already owns ear protection. They are cheap as dirt and extremely effective, unlike suppressors which are still loud enough to damage your hearing.

I know for a fact that John Daly is an American who has certainly been affected by many Hurricanes.

“I have also poured water into and shipped the Stanley Cup to Puerto Rico.”

Why pigeonhole him? “Shkreli homunculus,” “GHB enthusiast” and “oily trust-fund pig” are all perfectly acceptable.

Here’s a good guide to where to donate to hurricane relief.

Because he is a tiny weird man in a chair!?

“Sportsmen Heritage and Recreational Enhancement Act”

The NRA is a domestic terrorist organization.

Man, that is one well-fed fucking tree at this point.

Gee, if only there were some other way to protect the hearing of sportsmen firing weapons.

I’m a United supporter, but this really sucks. He’s a class player.

It’s like if you took a Nuremberg rally and made it wear cargo shorts.

Fans of the Patriots ignorant of the patriots.