Feeding exclusively on the souls of the poor and the elderly takes a toll.

Sounds like something he does with women to keep them from screaming.

Safe to say he’s fatter than Bill Clinton was in his McDonald’s-loving days.

Not sure what’s scarier: the toddler in the Oval Office, or the adults he’s hired to do the work for him.

At about 0:56 on the video that’s linked above, Burrows went for a loose puck and whacked Lehner with his stick. Burrows fell, and as he was getting up, Lehner gave him a nudge with his stick, which Burrows responded to with a shove, which is when the referee raised his arm to signal a penalty.

She’s the hero we deserve, but not the one we need.

It’s not a potential grizzly. It’s an actual one. Therefore, we are safe.

“SEE YOU IN COURT, COURT!”

Not since Sarah Palin came within striking distance of being a heartbeat away from the presidency have I studied the line of presidential succession this closely.

“He’s wrong. Presidentin’ is fun.”

I call dibs on their things. #youcanttakeitwithyou

I don’t know. I kind of see why the Knicks and MSG security decided they had to Tkaczuk him out of there.

This comment must be ungrayed. Now.

The penalty for violating this federal regulation for the first time is apparently suspension or removal from the violator’s job. It’s not a criminal statute, so it’s not like she goes to prison for this, unfortunately.

John Rocker, is that you?

Exactly. Don’t talk to me while C.J. is doing The Jackal.

Also helped out by the Sharks doing the same thing just a few seasons later. The more recent choke job will always help people look past the previous one.

Boudreau, though, also has a history of having teams come up short when it counts. His teams have lost Game 7 on home ice the last three years in a row. That’s a tough record. We’ll see what happens this year, but he’s got to find a way to shake that at some point.