Any chance that “Nanny” is a nickname for her grandmother? Not that it would make this better that she relies on her grandmother to do her chores for her, but at least it would make a little more sense.

“Remember when Frederick Douglass became the first black hockey player in the NHL? What a moment.”

“A black sheriff?!”

She might be literally the only black woman he knows by name.

Steve Bannon looks like the guy who writes sage life advice on the receipt instead of leaving a tip for the waiter/waitress.

(Nuclear) winter is coming...

“The enemy cannot press the button to vote if you disable his hand.”

So... plagiarized?

Now it just needs the giantic coat he was wearing on the bench.

The Batmobile’s only good use as far as I was concerned was traveling in a straight line until I could get enough speed to launch into a glide for the next few minutes to get from one side of the city to the other. Other than that, I could have done without it.

I think in their cases the “-er” would be dropped for “-s,” as in “Prongs” and “Biebs.”

Last time I used Uber was in Vegas, and the driver was more drunk than I was.

Or he can’t spell “hombres.”

Kellyanne Conway reminds me of a line from West Wing.

But how will this help us put food on our families?

61 NHL records owned or shared at the time he retired. Sixty. One.

I’ve never seen anyone other than Wenger consistently look like he’s standing in a rainstorm even when he’s not.

Wrong. Ghouls are pretty frickin’ cool (unless you go feral). Some are even snazzy dressers:

I believe a “poor womp rat” is actually a “womp-womp rat.”