Basically EVERYTHING Trump has done and you’re voting for a candidate that could not possibly win. You care so little about his actions you’re throwing away your vote, you must have a very comfy life.

So you’re voting for Trump essentially.

Undecided voters are basically Trump voters who are too embarrassed to admit it.

I can't comprehend voting for Hillary in 2016 and then deciding to vote third party in 2020.  Like holy fuck man, did you suddenly think Trump was better after four years?  Did Joe Biden kill his cat and burn his shirt?  How can you say they are equally bad.  The only excuse is if you came out of a coma from the…

Third party candidates remind me of people who insist you’d love them if only you got to know them, but don’t give you any good reason why.

The other day, my husband said to me, “I decided not to try to reason with you about buying Jagged Little Pill on vinyl and bought what was in our Amazon cart.” I gave him a pitying look and said, “It is an amazing album. You’ll see.You’ll see.”

“Jagged Little Pill was “Baby Shark” for mid-’90s angsty tween girls.”

You and Herzog:

Do you know what’s worse than being invited to a destination wedding? Being asked to stand up in a destination wedding. My wife was asked to stand up in one that’s in Italy next year.

Oh, it turns out the doctor was his mother, and the reason she couldn’t operate was she had puked and pissed on herself.

Anyone else need some kind of diagram or power point to clarify who did what and how they were related in the Letter of the Week?

I think my wife said it best upon first laying eyes on Gritty: “That looks like an overweight, 40-year-old, just out of rehab version of a Sesame Street character.” We both really like Gritty.

Pretty sure Gritty has been selling grilled cheese in the parking lot before Phish shows for years.

He looks so full of life, and pcp

I appreciate the pixelation. Must’ve been a Japanese person’s phone.

Headphones AND angled the video so his fellow Greyhound bus passengers wouldn’t see? The guy’s manners are impeccable compared to most of the cretins in the world today.

Thank God this guy was wearing headphones:

"If you fuck a stranger in the ass, this is what's gonna happen."

"If you throw a pitch right down the middle to Joe Carter, this is what happens"

I'm guessing LaGuerta is going to die this season (THANK GOD, FINALLY!). She is just so goddamn insufferable.