They did try...

Why don't I see "all the dead people" on this list?

I'm late to the party and stuck in the greys so this will probably only exist in comment limbo but I'll add my story anyway.

A Thanksgiving curse is the only explanation for my long and elaborate history of Thanksgiving traumas. A few of my greatest hits:

If you'd like to have sex in the house, it's best to do it during the day when the noises of your lovemaking will be covered by the noises of holiday revelry, such as your father complaining about Obama or your mother loudly folding sweaters in another room

My adult children need to read this article.

Fair is fair? Really? Someone unaware that they have a disease, that has in fact been cleared by the CDC, goes shopping. Dear God, a soapbox can be made of of no material at all.

Thank you and back atcha. ;>)

sometimes I feel like forgiving is letting people not be accountable for hurting other people

Well, they don't! Not really. :-)

I gave them a star because I agree that if you think you're at risk of doing something terrible, you don't put yourself in the situation to act terribly.

Stockton is the Florida of California.

Fuck this guy. And fuck this paid leave bullshit.

Without someone filming this, this would have been more difficult to prove. Bravo cameraman!

You're really fucking disgusting. I think you are a 0.

Used to be being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody's crazy. I never thought I was normal, never tried to be normal. Normal runs in that little rut down there. I don't know nothing about being normal. This guy raised me up. All the men in the joint raised me up, told me what to do, what was right and wrong,…

Oh, I think all the women here know why those run of the mill dudes are single.

I can't decide what to get them off of their registry. The Beer Making Kit, or the Cowboy Hat Chip & Dip? I guess I could always go with the Cowboy Boot Beverage Pitcher.

I had to click through to the registry. I just had to! Someone got them the fondue forks. How thoughtful. They're just the right size and shape for gouging one's eyes out.