The folks who work for me can't park in the parking lot if they leave their tow hitch on. 

They also happen to completely destroy shins in parking lots, but you don’t need a mannequin to tell anyone that, just a dummy (ouch).

You can tell this is Australia as the car spins clockwise; American race cars only go counter-clockwise.

More like Ford Crapi, AMIRITE?

The last story is one reason my dad always told me “if you work on the brakes, you test drive the vehicle after”.  Especially if you are doing them for someone else.  Doesn’t matter how many you have done before, you test drive it.  Also, you take it easy when you first test it.  Don’t go hauling down the street like…

You dont know how to make any constructive comments.

“Brought someone to my house and shackled them in the basement for generations, sometimes selling their progeny to my neighbors so they could have multi-generational basement guests too...”

The “Lightweight Package” should just be a Demon crate engine in a kart frame.

This will perplex people buying parts in the future,

Any WRX wagon you find for under 20k will be beat to shit

Yeah, if he has just owned a late model BMW, I’d not compound that and go with a VAG either.

Plan on driving over 300 miles on the beach, eh?

Eat a bag of dicks, fuck-face. 

Go fuck yourself. 

Sure there is.  If he hadn’t defeated the safety features the car is supposed to fucking stop.

I’m starting a real estate business selling foreclosures to meth manufacturers. This car will give me the professional persona I need.

Mk4 TDIs are solid too.

And you must drive it around with the ski rack...

dear penthouse

I wish I did pull over to help people more often. Normally when I see someone, I am traveling at interstate speeds and can’t get over and slow down in time or safely to help.