Joe Biden seems more and more like the confused old man I saw at the grocery store trying to talk the self-checkout machine into letting him buy a Stouffer’s frozen lasagna.

Have you ever taken a big ball of wadded-up paper towels and try to clean up a spill, or clean a window with it?  It’s a goddamn mess and so are y’all’s buttholes.

Nathan Peterman to Hunter Renfrow ALL DAY BABY

Extremely dumb question: would putting some sort of cushioning on the outside of the helmet, while keeping essentially the same shell underneath, potentially reduce head injuries? People would still get concussions and the like, but it would at least increase the surface area of contact, which I imagine would help.

I always hear: “You don’t make moves to make the playoffs, you make moves to win a world series.”  If sneaking into the playoffs can end up in a world series appearance, this phrase is bullshit, right?

His name is Ronald.

You forgot Planet Pat!

It does feel like 90% of movies are either superhero, rom-com, shitty horror, or Pixar. At least Tarantino is making something different, even if people want to shit on it.

I think that’s actually the point of Once Upon a Time. From AV Club’s Katie Rife:

As to whether the daily Starbucks folks will begin making their daily coffee/lattes at home, there’s no way.  The daily trip to Starbucks for people like my mom has become so ingrained in her routine that she decides where to stay while she’s on vacation based on proximity to Starbucks.

I generally agree, but the Stanton bean was not only unintentional, the catcher was also set up low and inside. The pitch clearly got away from Fiers in a bad way, and he was shook up afterwards.

The players qualifying for supermax deals are already stars with major endorsements. By the time they qualify for a supermax deal, rings are understandably more important to some players than a slightly better salary.  Hell, the rings are probably more valuable in terms of upping their endorsement deals than the…

The prison metaphor is pretty powerful. I’ve also heard stories similar in tone from ex-military trying to work a desk job after multiple tours.

Wasn’t that kick tipped anyways?  Clark the Bear dick n’ balls?

I’ve never thought of North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Missouri or Kansas as the “Midwest.”

Only trailing by 3, it puts the tying run on deck with one out.  Pathetic.

Coach Bud did a fantastic job of getting away from the long 2's that plagued the Bucks in the 2017-2018 season, but the players started passing the ball instead of taking quality mid-range jumpers. Middleton seemed like the only player who didn’t hesitate taking a good 15-footer.

Greek yogurt?