GIRL, BYE.

But, you know, given that they could’ve smashed into a nice piece of America, you’d think Prime Minister Teresa May could’ve said, “Our bad. We ain’t tryin’ to kill y’all. We just fucked up. We still good, right?”

If anyone buys a Bentley Flying Spur through Wal-Mart, please document the process so it can be shown on Jalopnik.com

If in order to receive the MVP from the Ginger Hammer Brady has to give him a handshake, I hope Tom goes to the bathroom first and doesn’t wash his hands.

And japan has no fukushimas left to give

Shit’s called Takeshima, not Giveshima.

If Montreal got the Expos back it would certainly not become Canada’s team. Fuck those separatist pricks.

It’s really hard to get to Vegas when your Carr is broken down...

“So how did Nino Niederreiter and Mikko Koivu get those assists?”

RE: The co-ordinarted groomsman dance, the inventors of youtube are going to burn in hell for what they’ve done to what people want to do at weddings.

“Old man doesn’t understand how voting works, wants someone to tell him how to feel about things: The story of the 2016 Election.”

there is a big offer from China

4 houses? New Corvette for son? Pays tax with coins?

‘Murica.

I’m 42, so I’ve probably already died, naturally mummified, and somehow still kept going on like I’m some sort of living human being.

I’m 39, which means I am officially both old as balls and not a millennial, and I’ve been waiting for them to do something about the end of NBA games since I got back into the sport fourteen years ago. Blaming it on attention spans is ludicrous. The back-and-forth fouling at the end of games has been an obvious…

Too small.

Idk, looks like a vagina to me.

Underneath it’s just a lowly Cobalt 17' bowrider inexplicably branded as a Toyota.