When did he learn to read?

Or he was too drunk to get his facts straight, jeah? I don't know where the truth is. Odds are he knew he was lying and spinning a fairy tail.

Too many people are missing the subtle word play.

Meh. It was more of a constructive comment than a weak joke.

Meh. It was more of a constructive comment than a weak joke.

Are we sure he's in the race and not just trying to hold it in and get to a bathroom?

You mean next on as wheels turn.

Did Lochte lie or just shade the truth? The story on deadspin published last night seems to be the most accurate and comprehensive order of events.

4 piss ass drunk swimmers vandalize a gas station at 6am. Security comes up and demands compensation speaking a foreign language and a gun may or may not have been drawn.

In…

So he’s not retiring because he will be on IR and can get paid for being on IR as opposed to not being paid because he retired? And he’s appealing his suspension and fine so he can get more money?

I’m a big fan. Stick it to the Browns!

Just drop the word heroes and you've got everyone today.

What if moving meant they would win the super bowl?

Maybe the Lions then?

I'm not sure what's more amazing. All the attention this is getting or the fact that Brazilian authorities solved a case.

They do look eerily similar.

Listen. They're American. They speak English. They probably didn't understand what was being said. They've probably all just retired from competitive swimming and they weren't about to listen to someone when they told them where to pee. They've been doing that on demand for years and decided enough was enough. The…

El Werto's perverted brother? You're doing it wrong man. You're supposed to dragon the tailpipe.

bahahahaha you act like the authorities do something other than accept bribes to allow anarchy.

Is making up stories illegal in Brazil? I'd hate to see what prime time TV is like in Brazil.

Updating: All British nationals have had their passports pulled and are being pulled in for additional questioning.

That's a lot of stuff > than the NFL. I wouldn't go that far.