“I’ll take ‘ways to avoid a DUI charge’ for $200, Alex.”

If a show is only on the Motor Trend app, does it make a sound? 

i suspect he wont change his tune

Did someone switch Ballaban and Torch’s medications again? Damnit Kinja, what have we TOLD you about that?

US consumers: haven’t had a meaningful raise in decades.

How about the mistake of buying a series of websites and then somehow through complete incompetence and malice flushed their popularity down the toilet?

Heh heh heh.  Oh, white dot with blue tail, will you ever find what you’re looking for?

If you want to rally professionally, here are the correct steps.

I don’t even have to see the autoplay videos because I’ve fixed my browser. But I just locked my work computer and a notification is on the screensaver about the thing playing, with an option to pause.

Deadspin’s bosses, turn this ridiculous shit off, it’s not making you money and it’s pissing off all your readers…

They should post another one that says: “I am a former social media account manager.”

Yep, the Bears could use—

I wonder how early in a game they’d concede a loss and just let all of their trustworthy pitchers sit..

I came into this intrigued by what Lo Duca had to say, and I’m no fan of Country Joe, but they did their homework before suing him, and it sure sounds like he’s full of shit. That begs the question of why he made up something that could be easily verified? Attention? Stupid, if so. And now it’s gonna cost him.

It’s Data trying to mimic a smile

Too many auto-playing ads. 

The higher limits of an R8 could be negated by a poor driver. The lower limits of a CR-V could be enhanced by a skilled driver. You can’t pick and chose your speed limits.

Nobody stays alive to keep watching the winningest team ever keep winning, I call bullshit. Your grandfather is alive just to cheer against that immigrant Altuve, i bet 

The Yankees won’t be in the World Series, and all is well with the world once more.

Yeah, sure, but also fuck the Yankees.