Does your Philly Pop Pop drink spoiled soups and have secret treasure too?

Not so fast. There’s still Team Meteor.

Hold my Natty Boh

Eagles Fans: Destroying Stereotypes Since Never.

And if you’re down at halftime it’s so important to score more points in the second half than your opponent did in the first. Sometimes you can get away with less but you can’t be sure.

Change out Pringles for ipecac and jalapenos if you want that time to go down.

C’mon, everybody is making up names this year. Don’t even try to tell me “Case Keenum” and “Blake Bortles” are real people. I know how the NFL empire works. It’s obvious they are just cross-promotional tie-ins as minor characters from The Last Jedi.

MSU shouldn’t be allowed to have an athletic department anymore. If you fail to maintain a safe environment for your students for more than two decades, you lose the right to participate in college sports.

I’m too old. I’m 37. Hahaha. Suck it, Stephen Miller, you prematurely aging douche.

Coldstone.

but the whole POINT of being in a relationship is to fart with impunity

Because child porn often involves a network of evil and even a conspiracy element — you can’t really walk into the video store and buy your child porn.

The plural of “anecdote” is not “data.”

“Malik Jackson on Blake Bortles: ‘He’s a dog’”

Being in the NBA makes you the best in the world. Playing high level D-1, also the best in the world. 2% of college players play in the NBA.

This is my new favorite gif

Basically this, but I managed to make it to the hallway first

Once upon a time, Simmons really was a unique voice. He was funny and insightful and unlike anything else on ESPN or elsewhere. But he’s been lapped by people who are better, edgier, and funnier.

This is more frivolous than Donald Trumps trademark claim against Syracuse.