Oh bless your heart (jokes!)

I can’t even begin to express how much “nope” I feel about getting into a remotely operated “autonomous” cab.

1st Gear: I don’t think it’s worth worrying about the shifting standards for Tesla’s vaporware. Especially when this announcement’s sole purpose is to prop up Tesla’s inflated stock price.

Should have just named it “Mechanical Turk” and been done with it. 

Is there even a law against drinking and driving remotely?

First gear: so, do I have this right? A presumably huge room full of low-paid staffers/remote drivers that are expected to pay super-close attention to everything going on around a car by watching screens and listening for warming beeps? Notwithstanding the possibility that they’re going to be chatting with the…

what kind of a fucking name is Glogy Foods lol

Because when I think of appetizing adjectives that describe food, “Glogy” is high on that list, of course.

If they're that much of a cash grab then it means there are untold number of people running red lights, which in turn proves that people are driving dangerously. 

Someone did a study of bulldog owners and their impressions of how healthy their dogs were. The owners rated the dogs overall as really healthy, but when their vet records were reviewed they were making a LOT of visits for a whole list of health problems. Honestly I'm surprised when I see one live past 10, but these…

“I’m not a Trump fan but eggs are 20 cents more expensive so I’m going to vote for a fascist.” 

I don’t think you understand how depreciation works. It’s a nice effort, I’ll give you that. But when a vehicle was originally sold for an amount and then sells again for a different amount, those are the numbers that matter. Do you think you’ll be able to sell that brand new $80k CT for $75k next year? Lol go ahead…

“but if you compare against current MSRP, which is lower in 2024 than it was in 2023, it’s only 8% depreciation”

Asking price does not equal selling price. And a $15,000 discount for 50 miles isn't what I'd call "holding value" either.

Rarity will drive up the resale value of the Cybertrucks that remain in drivable condition after three years, because there just won’t be many left.

Lol. Will they back that up when you go to trade in your truck with them? I’m guessing not based on all the other chaff Elno has thrown up over the years concerning his products.

The appreciation value will hit the same time that true full self driving is available...

Musk, and Bezos, don’t have cash;

Tesla shareholders are the dumbest people on the planet it seems. Do they not realize that as soon as he gets paid, he is abandoning Tesla and moving to SpaceX, or worse, politics full time? Sales are down, cars are still shit, robotaxi is a fail and the man has lost his marbles completely. How will paying him $56B…