That’s just the wurst running I’ve ever seen.

Question: What did Kipnis yell at him when he fell behind the Mustard Guy?

I disagree that Barry hates white people. In his day he hated everyone. It's a lot more complex than what you may think.

That whole era where players were absolute shit who seemed to hate the fans, the game, the press just sucked. And Bonds was the biggest offender. And I’m saying that even if Bonds was my second favorite player after Mays. Try and repair that image now big guy.

Shameless self-promotion FTW.

I’d like to confirm that I did not invest in The Ringer. No need to get in touch, Kevin.

Sometimes I can’t orgasm because cartoon theme songs are stuck in my head.

What is dead cannot die!

Coming soon to a Disney Store near you, a 50 cent bag of plastic coins on sale for only $17.99

pull out your tinfoil pirate hats mateys

Hey now, it's not every Disney Junior show that has a former World Championship Wrestling heavyweight champion as the voice of a pirate parrot.

You can take my air conditioner from my pleasantly cool, comfortable fingers.

Dammit, the answer was exercise. I was trying to avoid that.

Those things look like chafing/blisters just waiting to happen. And like they’re gonna pull right off if you step on gum...

Chipotle burritos are big enough as it is. How many fucking pounds of food do you people need to eat at one time? Half of one of their standard burritos is more than enough. No wonder we have such an obesity epidemic. Portion control is a thing.

Uh, no. But I have made a joke in a comment section.

Fucking hell. Why the fucking shit are people rating their burrito experiences off of fucking Chipotle? Goddamn. I hope Mexico nukes this godforsaken hellhole of a shitheap.

Who does this? The ONLY reasons I would EVER attempt to run over a motorcycle are:

They could start by not making shitty-looking ones like those in the photo.

You know, you might have had a point up til you started talking about how great Canada’s unis looked...those look like hipster douche trash sportcoats, not “we mean business suits”.