Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.

What sad is if she were a man everyone would be praising her to the hilt for forcing her sorry carcass to campaign anyway. She’d be hailed a hero and everyone would be satisfied she needs a week off. Instead she’ll be portrayed as weak because chromosomes. On a related note, yeah I've had pneumonia twice, began as…

I’ll still take the person who might die in office over the one who might kill us all in office.

Exactly.

I think he just got himself promoted to Lieutenant Colonel Dickhead

this is a reasonable take, no sarcasm intended

If I was on that crew I would say that the game was over and the team that schmuck was on had forfeited.

She has taken questions from the press regularly and to suggest otherwise is disingenuous bordering on an outright lie. Clinton has met with press in informal gaggles (like on the plane, happens all the time) or one-on-one interviews. This probably happens on a near-daily basis for her. Since May, she has done major,…

Jesus fuck. This is the longest SNL cold open ever.

where he dodged (yet another) question about Hillary Clinton’s private email usage

Ah yes, coffee and vegan donuts. For today’s on-the-go, socially conscious diarrhea enthusiast.

Hoisted by your own pedantard

He said “so every other play didn’t end with a shredded ligament.” Why don't YOU try some reading comprehension?

Seems like a pretty reasonable call.

Nah. Fleeing and taunting? Fuck that. The penalty was deserved. Especially when already cautioned. What a maroon.

bitch i aint gotta do shit

As any true American would

I LOVE that museum.

When I moved away from St. Louis, the City Museum was the thing I wanted to bring with me.

I feel like I’ve read that she got her green card before they married, though. She says she got hers in 2001 and they didn’t get married until 2005. And with the assistance of some extremely able counsel, who knows, she could have qualified for an extraordinary ability green card; the scrutiny of those was much lower…