+1 lazy speechwriter

She’s not allowed to speak!

I’m sure we will hear a similar tear-jerker when the next FLOTUS gives her farewell speech...

Ya but are Flacco and Eli elite?

That guy was both belted or not belted. What does it mean, Schrödinger?!

Dez Bryant missed his block on that one..

Loudmouth Cowboys’ fan (are there any other kind?) gets richly deserved karma dump.

16 “fantastic” years may be a little much. He had a very good career, but he’s not a hall of famer. Odell Beckham, in his first three seasons, already has matched Steve Smith’s best three. Steve Smith had three elite seasons and then a bunch of Eric Deckers. For comparison’s sake, Roddy White arguably had a better…

I never know which to say either, but what’s funny is the actual headline of the article on SI is:

Quoth the Raven, nevermore.

Amelia Molitor says she deeply regrets the role that she played the night of the incident.

Personal foul for Tauntaun, 15 yards

The story forgot to mention that you could also tell how cold it was because of the picture of Brett Favre’s frost bitten penis he sent to Jenn Sterger at halftime.

One of the few nice things about being a Ravens fan post Ray Rice is that I feel fairly certain the front office goes out of its way to avoid drafting players with this kind of history and baggage

He can certainly knock out those tough yards.

Hopefully he gets what he deserves and is sentenced 4 years to life on the Browns.

The Browns prefer to draft self-destructive players. The Cowboys on the other hand can always use another guy who hits women. I know they just elliot, but what if he hurts his beating hand?

PLEASE get drafted by the Browns and let the factory of sadness churn out another failure.

The tape on this kid is amazing.