We all had a patter, right? We knew how to make small talk for years with the cashiers, the other people in line, what have you. And now that extra 45 seconds has permanently fucked every person involved. No one knows what to do. Everyone just awkwardly giggles or stares off into space. So I’m sorry, Reya at Trader…

I had to use one of those chip readers today and the checkout lady straight-up got mad at me. Like she’s getting all exasperated, going “Use the pen to sign, use the pen!” and IT’S NOT ASKING FOR A SIGNATURE LADY WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME

Everyone has given up. Even Captain America.

How many times today do you think Barack and Michelle just looked at each other, burst out laughing, and high-fived? I’m going with 20 as a minimum.

Looking to the side.

That is one shoddy V. It looks like they were trying to make a second heart.

LOL, sure, because everyone else there is dressed so professionally.

I’d rather my city host a fucking G8 summit or even an (ugh) Olympics than this bullshit. Poor Cleveland.

So if/when we get Hillary as president, can we keep as FLOTUS? I mean we can’t have Bill do it and we’ll save a ton of money in stationary. 😊

I am going to mis her, her husband, and their beautiful family so very, very much come January. We have been so fortunate to have them these past eight years.

YAAAASSSSSSSS

I wish they taped it today so the host could ask her how she felt about her speech going over well with conservative audiences.

North Korea is fixin to flush our toilet and here we are zomygodding about Taylor Swift and company.

Me, re: Tay/Ye/Kim/everyone fooferaw:

Funny how no one who went to Harvard ever talks about their alma mater

Yeah, she blames Hillary Clinton for the Benghazi attack but gives a total pass to the Republican congress who refused, on multiple occasions, to authorize additional resources to the embassy that could have prevented this. Just incredible.

Watching this it just dawned on me “can you image grandpa blaming FDR or IKE for being attacked during the Battle Of The Bulge?”

That whole Benghazi segment was horrifying. Exploiting that mother’s grief and then these guys’ long winded story was really too much.

I just turned it off after Giulianis white america/black America outburst. This country is so fucked. Can't even hate watch trump introduce Milanibot