I’m sure the good and smart people of Alabama would of course reject such a blatant carpetbagging move.

Virginia plays god-awful, ugly basketball, Auburn is coached by sanctimonious shitheel Bruce Pearl, and Michigan State should no longer exist as an institution. There’s plenty of reasons and ways to spread the hate.

I can’t star this, no matter how much I want to. Here’s why:

“Young man, back in 1984, I spent a glorious and debaucherous night in the trainer’s room at Exhibition Stadium.

Or thirteen beers.

Funny thing is, the only flooding we had was from an old floor drain backing up into the basement.

I know a bankruptcy attorney who is fond of saying “No one’s motion was denied because they gave too much notice.” Whenever there was dispute over how and who to give notice to, she always error on the side of too much.

I hope they’ve got a well-staffed burn ward down there at the combine.

I love the way he just tossed Heath Shuler’s name in there casually.

I hate myself for siding with a sports agent, but holy shit, that response.

I feel sorry for my wife if Sean Hannity is sent to prison somehow for his role in all of this. She will never be able to make me cum as hard as I will the day he’s sentenced.

If CPAC really knew it’s audience, they’d just talk about how Democrats cheat at bingo.

“Buffalo called, and...”

I wish my kids looked at me the way Thomas's does after being out of work for 11 months

Counterpoint: there are some sweet golf simulators now.

John Elway runs the Broncos the way Homer Simpson groaned at the mere prospect of owning them, when Hank Scorpio gave him the team.

Counterpoint: this is better than literally anything else he would potentially otherwise be doing. Let’s just load Pebble Beach and see him in two years.

But he’s...wait...

Looks like the experts were right when they said Hunt would never play another meaningful game in the NFL.

“suggest one of the best runs in recent memory is coming,”