phone’s got a running app, that’s sports

Tech bloggers getting fucked? There’s a first time for everything!

wasn’t there already a Browns emoji?

so·lic·i·tous

Authorities recovered a list made by the caller entitled Ways To Make Money:

With a Company-Wide Email, a Question: To Reply?

¡Muy Am-bien!

Just a reminder of some of the things that have happened since Rae Carruth’s arrest and conviction:

This seems like a perfect segue into a story about the lack of minorities working in NFL front offices.

I’m crying on the toilet, and I didn’t even have Chipotle yesterday.

I don’t think this necessarily offers hope for humanity, but I wouldn’t say it’s just basic decency for a guy who went to the school expecting to be fawned over by excited kids to instead sit down with a lonely, awkward boy who probably didn’t even know who he was.

Great. Now I want to go to McDonalds.

How many times do they have to tell you they don’t start serving lunch until 10:15? Your fault at this point imo

Great. Now I’m crying in a McDonald’s. And it's not for any of the usual reasons.

He’s going to need a lot of ketchup cake for this.

That sound you heard was Drew Magary spiraling down a vortex of sorrow.

Can’t

According to the New York Times, a lot of parents are wondering whether their sons’ dicks are too small! I figured I would help them out.

“And I’ll tell you another thing,” Lynch said, “New Girl might be the best damn show on television.”

Ready for the full Arsenal Champions League Group Stage Experience: