I was collecting unemployment after I got... re-org’d... and looked at it like this: my employer was now the government, and my job was looking for a new job. I would wake up in the morning, take a shower, and sit at my computer and get to work.

Man, they make the foreperson in MA say a lot of stuff. When I was a foreman of a jury we just handed the paper to the judge and they took it from there.

No, dude. No seltzer, no fruit.

Don't crucify me for this, but I wasn't aware that you were supposed to tip at Sonic.

So where have we netted out with Hernandez? Good at smoking weed, bad at doing murders?

Get a 2 oz measuring cup. They're awesome and much more precise. You'd be surprised how often you under-pour for fear of spilling. Here's the answer:

I understand the Imo's hate, although I don't agree with it. I'm perfectly capable of discerning the difference between Imo's and a good pizza, but I will totally throw down on one if it's around.

Oh sure, the wikipedia entry is a tragedy. And who knows if it was invented here.

On the other hand, gooey butter cake is really pretty good.

That was probably the best email of the week.

Silly Butler morelike

Maybe, but this is ALSO racist as hell, you guys:

It is slightly worth noting that St. Louis County, where Mike Brown was shot, and St. Louis City, where other people are shot - but at least that guy was armed?, are two completely different entities.

One time at an Italian restaurant I had espresso poured over ice cream and it made me feel as if we could have shut down human existence and called it a relative success.

Still got those signature Rex Chapman calves, though.

Whoa, wait, my Qdoba charges me for guac. What the fuck, man.