Chipotle should disagree. 

Eiffel 65 scene.

Welp! Found Drew Magary's burner. 

This will be Ja Rule’s moment.

[Giggles in Lindsay Graham.]

Wisconsin is a funeral.

MTV News on the brain?

As one whose first afterschool job was running the custard machine at Gilles’s Frozen Custard Drive-in in 1996, & got shittalked by the asshole Republican co-owner Pat for not mixing the Moose Tracks (chocolate custard with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup) right, I say, Huzzah! Don’t care how it’s mixed — just give me.

If only...

Is that why Ricky Bobby lost control of his hands?

Now I want a pumpkin spice cake for my birthday. 

Okay. Who porked a pig?

No lies detected. 

Stuffed shelves are where they keep the snitches.

That’s a sandwich.

Flagged for mayonaise slander.

I did my part by denying S’way my money for five years after Jared Fogle got exposed, but after seeing my personal boycott fail, I acquiesced.

Blues-punk. Where Brett Gurewitz hid his money, so as not to spend it on crack, before he let Tim Armstrong start Hellcat.

Cousins is almost as terrible as Culver’s. #notsomethingspecialfromwisconsin

My college cafeteria memory is P.J. the thirtysomething Sodexho manager banging the high school girls from town who worked there.