I can get behind that.

Ray Hudson:Soccer::Dick Vitale:College Basketball

That they’re selling baby marmosets means that they are ripping baby primates away from their parents and selling them for $5k a pop.

What’s worse is that this is a baby Pygmy Marmoset. They’re a small monkey, but they’re not that small as adults.

So the Chinese are ripping baby primates away from their parents and selling them for $5k a pop. Still want one?

Grow your own! Lettuce is really easy to maintain, and you can pick off leaves from still-growing plants as you go so they last a very long time.

Impossible. Deadspin hasn’t been around for decades to talk about how insufferable Cardinals fans are.

Oh I see what you did there. You replaced “fans” with “hackers” in an ironic way. Clever. I wonder if anyone’s thought of that before.

MORE LIKE HACKING THE RIGHT WAY AMIRITE?!?!?

The next step for these assholes is seizing something actually meaningful—say, the BLM regional office for southern Utah

A recent New York Times article about these guys noted that they’re having trouble starting fires to keep warm because the sagebrush they’re using for “firewood” is covered in snow. Which, obviously. Because it’s winter and it’s the fucking desert.

Made worse by the fact that he’s so behind and the publisher is so desparate to get the books out as soon as possible that I’m surprised Dance With Dragons wasn’t just a bound page of napkins he scribbled plot ideas down on.

You want realism in a movie about magic space ninjas with laser swords?

people who will turn around and cry the loudest about “unwritten rules”. (Not you specifically - but Cardinal defenders in general.)

Pretty clear you went into it expecting to hate it.

What a surprise that you did!

I was also baffled by Finn’s background in sanitation.

People are dicks on the internet. Weird this has to be explained to someone who works on the internet.

Next time prepare your clutching pearls and fainting couch before you log on to Twitter, maybe?

Oh, I get it. Cardinals something something.

“I’m prepared to raise my voice against the masses come Friday”

They’re Southern Lapwings. They’re pretty common in South America.

If you don’t want head you are allowed to say no.

Or, you know, ask her and avoid getting bent out of shape if she says no.