For my 12th birthday, my mom took me and all of my friends to a psychic before we had a sleepover. Every single one of those girls was flipping the fuck out with excitement. In retrospect, it was kind of the coolest, alternahipster birthday I could have had. When I was 22, my mom took me to an expensive, “legit”…

Welp this blows. I was seriously considering opening up an Etsy shop to sell mojo hands.

Yes, other people call them prayers or wishes.

you’re so right—i’ll adjust my blueprints

As much as I love the idea of a diarrhea catapult I imagine that you’d have to actually put the diarrhea into a water balloon if you actually wanted to achieve any real distance.

a diarrhea catapult aimed straight at the stars & bars am i right

Road trip to South Carolina to fucking shimmy up that flag pole to shit on that fucking flag and then fucking burn it and then fucking throw it in that dumb fucking Governor’s face.

mental illness is. not. an. excuse.

You’re already in the black so I guess I’ll respond:

ALREADY SOMEONE IS BLAMING THIS SHIT ON MENTAL ILLNESS

I say this without a shred of irony or sarcasm: when are white men going to stand up and pressure each other to get themselves under control?

Nothing makes me happier than seeing this positive black family get joy. Mom has a youtube channel and it’s AWESOME. She does recipes and other cool shit nonstop.

I had more fun on the way out of the parking lot afterwards discussing how Charlie Hunnam would have upped the hot. I suppose that makes it the ultimate female fantasy film — we still have to fantasize about how good it could have been.

CORRECTION: I was not wasted, I'm just disgusting.

I swear every time I see this my ovaries throb.

Common came and talked at my university when I was in undergrad and he was AMAZING! Just everything he said was on point and wonderful. Plus he is gorgeous.

I believe they have a show coming out this spring about their husbands leaving them for each other.

... that was today?

Rarely do I find myself saying this online, but -