I’m sure it’s great when it’s your break up, but when you’re subjected to it repeatedly for other peoples’....

Oh, but Tori is so, so good for breakups. Something very cathartic about doing your very own private cabaret routine to “Leather”. I also was big on Kate Bush’s The Red Shoes.

Every female roommate I had in college listened to Tori Amos on a loop when she went through a breakup or a rough patch with a guy. For the last twenty years, I have been unable to hear “Winter” without wanting to throw a lawn chair through a window.

When you have six kids you claim to want shared custody of, there might be a few things.

IDK I did a lot of laundry and rearranged all the furniture and threw out all the bifold doors that I hated. I listened to a lot of angry music and a lot of peppy music. But everyone deals in their own way. I also had primary custody which from what I understand, Brad doesn’t, so that helped me a lot with not falling…

Men lie.

global thermonuclear war

Because one thing babies/children and known to be are reliable and consistent. It’s totally reasonable to be able to troubleshoot all the things that come up with parenting because kids are easy to figure out, and definitely all develop and act according to expectations. People who can’t manage the simple task of…

Our life is so different now that we have a kid that comparing to pre-child doesn’t work at all. The way we did things before has nothing to do with how we have to do them now. Sure it’s true that both of our deficiencies were clear before, but they didn’t seem to matter. Now they do matter, but it’s very much like…

Thanks. Yeah I felt really dumb for ending up with someone who was lazy, and it’s not like there weren’t warning signs. Reading through these comments it sounds like there are many women who would benefit by dumping their husbands.

I think there’s some truth to this. However many women find they are stuck in an inequitable relationship but want to stay because the dude has some redeeming qualities, and/or because divorce is hard. Plus, I think that divisions in labor that seem tolerable when there are no kids all of a sudden no longer work when…

I’m going to look up Habatica now haha. My husband loves gaming so maybe that would be another option. I have a fantastic memory and remain really, really focused to a total fault because I can’t disengage. My husband is a happy daydreamer. Until recently, I never realized that the same redirects useful with my…

It took several years of dating, a year long engagement, a year and a half of marriage, and the first 6 weeks of my daughter’s life to make me realize “this shit HAS TO STOP”. For the past 8-9 weeks, it has gotten better. I basically told my husband I could not do it. My postpartum depression has been so very bad. …

Exactly! Reading that paragraph made me want to cry with frustration and at finally being heard/seen. All the effort to get ‘help’ is just as much work as doing the work itself!

And yet they did not treat my house like it was their own. Aka, clean up after themselves. It’s like their common sense went out the window as soon as a woman was thrown in the mix. I know they did not do that shit in their own homes!

I am going to mutter “spot fucking on” over and over to myself as a calming mantra as I climb the ladder to clean out the gutters (that he knows are full, that I have asked him to clean for two weeks). If I don’t, the basement will flood and for sure I can’t get shitty and yell at him for not cleaning the gutters, so…

“The difference today is that men are now more frequently socialized to pay lip-service to household equality. Our culture rewards them for sharing housework and childcare. Yet still we have to ask nicely even when we’ve already asked twice, we have to be strategic in the way we frame our requests so as not to spook…

My wife recently returned to work after giving birth in December. We’re fortunate in that I am able to stay home to care for our new little one during the day while I work on a PsyD and go to class in the evenings. Nevertheless, there is an aspect of toxic masculinity to my thinking — even though I generally regard…

How Not to Hate Your Husband is a book for messy reality, but I can’t shake my frustration that its twin, written for men, isn’t out there somewhere: How to Keep Your Wife From Hating You After Kids.

Would this be good reading for someone with no intention of procreating but who has had multiple relationships fail due to unequal labor division? ASKING FOR A FRIEND.