I hear you. What a fucking raw deal we got with garbage families.

I feel like a hellish childhood can ruin the things that are supposed to be fun, like fireworks.  It's hard to explain. 

SHE WAS THE ONE.

I don’t see how that’s a disaster. Sounds like true love to me

Summer, 1995. My high school crush and I get general admission tickets to see Live (yes, I’m old). We fight, and I mean push and shove, our way all the way up to the front, with hot, sweaty bodies on all sides. It was gross, but once we got to the front, there was air and of course, we were inches away from the band.…

I’m just here to admit that I’m impressed you all didn’t catch that Screamapillar’s (whose name is also a Simpsons reference) literally submitted the plot to Episode 7.25.

My dad’s family had been going to this rinky-dink set of cabins in rural Wisconsin for generations. By the time I was a ‘tween in the 90s, they’d at least been retrofitted with electricity, but you still had to use an outhouse. The nearby lake was great, but my fond summertime memories of bonfires, tubing, and jumping…

This is so true. I live in a city where every second woman has Botox, huge pumped up lips and huge false eyelashes. It makes everyone look so so much older than they are. I've always been able to pass for several years younger than I am but have noticed in the past few years that I get older and the age people think I…

Just to point out, planes don’t necessarily fly in a straight line from point A to Point B. Here’s an actual Denver-St. Louis flight path I grabbed off Flight Aware. It makes Iowa seem not outside the realm of possibility.

Not as embarrassing as the time I found out that Keanu Reeves had a cervical spinal fusion the same day I did (a tidbit dropped by my surgeon who knew his surgeon) and sent him a love letter asking him if he “wanted to neck” (neck/make out/cervical spine) In my defense I was on much many painkillers. I’m pretty sure…

While we’re on this tangent, do not get me started on the way in which Arabic is frequently incorrectly translated. I quite literally cannot handle reading English subtitles on Arabic film because so much of the nuance is lost in translation. Ditto re: Greek. It drives me nuts.

And fact-checkers.

I spent a summer in London completing an internship for grad school and was in complete “fuck it” mode. I hooked up with a rando Irish dude one night who told me he was also 23. Next morning i found out he was actually 33 and he tried to recruit me to join his cult. A few weeks later he texted me suggesting I should…

The move was only about a block away so I felt comfortable being a little casual with my packing. One of my choices was to tape up the drawers of my night tables rather than empty them. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) handled the tape duty. When they arrived at the destination I noticed that the tape was a…

I have a friend who has a great story of being young and dumb deeeeeep in Brooklyn back when people paid their rent in cash to the large Italian man who came around to collect it from the everyone in the neighborhood every month. She lived above an obvious mob front, the store only sold pencils and erasers and had a…

I was getting ready to move from one city to another, Being my usual meticulous self, I arranged for a truck, movers, packing supplies, etc. I even had a color-coded task chart. Three days before the move, two carloads of my family members showed up unannounced and said they were going to help me move RIGHT THEN. No…

Have you seen Long Shot? I don’t think Charlize was in it just for the money, and the messaging might surprise you.

Honestly, misinterpreting it and showing up dressed as camping gear would probably be more on-theme than a lot of what we’re going to see tonight.

This comment section should be interesting, considering that Jezebel commenters and GOMI share a number of the same people (or at least did, once).

i think it’s pretty cool that someone’s going to reinvent cable and call it an innovation