He should go with some tried and true baseballisms, like “Hustle, Grit, Humble”. On second thought, that’s probably too long, so he should probably just abbreviate it.

He should have went with “sticks”, as his number is 11 and he clearly has a third one up his ass.

I’ve been married 16 years and also get screamed at every time I try to get my wife to spread her legs.

Who do you think won that game of arm wrestling? Ibra or Mourinho?

Albert Pujols was once as beloved as almost any player ever by his hometown fans, well on his way to being the defining player of his generation. Now he’s almost forgotten, washed up, and being forced to watch himself get surpassed by an even better player on a nightly basis, on a (still) shitty team.

I don’t follow MMA, but I’ve seen that name several times before and just assumed he was a quarterback from Utah.

I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure those pants are an offering from the Bartolo Colon Summer Collection.

“He couldn’t coherently answer any questions,” Schultz said.

Aw now the other football has its own…

If you’re curious as to why a good majority of Americans don’t care about soccer, look at the reaction of the guy in blue on the ground as if he has been shot both before and after he weakly falls.

do these guys get a paycheck or is everything under the table?

Jose Mourinho had the exact same reaction when he heard that Chelsea lost to Burnley .

That’s good news for Kevon Looney. Only Kerr and Klay and another K were going to be invited anyway.

Well you’re in luck...

The lesson here is this: No matter the truly vicious swill you drink at home, Carling turns you into a right twat.

“The vote to remove the statue included a stipulation that no public money would be used to pay for the process.”

Confederates - the forefathers of the participation trophy society.

Goddamnit, Tommy!

I’m interested in knowing more about this water skiing squirrel you speak of.

This is a guy who grew up in Torrey Pines, went to Stanford, and now is GM of the Bay Area’s football team. Say what you will, but Florida really leaves a lasting impression.