dumber
He’ll respawn at the hospital in a few anyway.
Messi was thinking about inviting his national teammates but decided he’d rather the wedding not end up as a huge disappointment.
Heckler: (heckles)
This was a Quantum Leap episode, wasn’t it? Sam can’t hit to save his life, but he whiffs, the balls gets away from the catcher and he runs around the bases as they throw it all over the field?
Seems like someone has been chewing OxyContin for the refreshing burst of flavor.
Hell, if she wanted to be in a better place she could have driven 5 miles in any direction.
Given the level at which NFL “doctors” actually care about players getting injured, we’re gonna watch this guy get paralyzed on national TV, aren’t we?
“Orr decided to retire when doctors told him he was at risk of paralysis or even death.”
Look, the guy’s a football player, it’s a little ridiculous to expect him to be able to remember medical advice he was given a year ago.
“You’re telling me.”
Apparently I am nothing but a child convincing myself that I’m a mature adult, because I have watched this 10 times and I am laughing my ass off.
Oh, sure, but when I hit a ball at high speeds on some guy’s ass at work it’s all, “Hey! what the fuck are you doing in my stall? I’m pooping here!”
The other members of the team felt it was because he went to Duke.
Not Montero, picking off Trea Turner at first two nights ago:
This may sound terrible, but it isn’t unprecedented. In 2014, former Mariners catcher Jesus Montero was a perfect 31-for-31 at Baskin-Robbins.
Stealing your own stuff back at gunpoint goes horribly wrong?
I know it’s probably a fundraising event, but I love that this thing is sponsored by a Little League. I can just imagine wrestlers going door to door and asking a bunch of 10-year olds if they want to increase their team’s visibility by adding a patch to the wrestler’s tights.
His finishing move is “The Safe Space” in which he runs his opponent over from inside his Prius.
“She’s a 125-pound, drooling, snoring, gassy, loud and silly girl,”