“No honey, it’s Jake from State Farm!”

Sadly when Mike Schidt tried to engage with Herrera and tell him to run that out by speaking his language of “Arriba, arriba, andale, ariba,” all the outfielder did was punch him in the face.

“Mr. Snyder, this is Tony. I think I have an idea. Yes sir, it will save millions.”

Co-opting? Marginalizing? Hate crime?

MACRON: How is it that your clothes fit so impeccably? You must tell me!

Charlotte takes him; his rookie contract pays him league minimum with a rich incentive kicker, triggered by Lavar beating Jordan 1:1.

Show of hands: who now wants to see a picture of this agent?

Also, overall squatting.

The best part of that play is J.R. Smith being like, “Well, I can’t shoot it from here. Someone else do something with this.”

I hate it when my co-workers say I fart at my desk just because I happen to fart at my desk all the time.

Unless there is a lot more than meets the eye, he first got robbed when they charged him for a “suite.”

If I saw that goddamned bear looking through my door I’d be making brownies too.

“Pffttt! Been fired more times than Sabrina, but I am still here.”

“We’re actually not concerned about the financials, we’re just confused why the fuck you paid so much for someone who has the same number of assists as Lucas Leiva.”

Yeah, I’d blame Steve Alford too.

hey girl, whats ursine?

for me personally if im going to put forth the effort to follow a story of absolutely zero consequence that is still repeatedly popping up in the news this week it has to be juicero. sorry to the partios players and coaches

His lawyer is even trying to get him off on this one too!

Interesting new tact for NFL players: Suspend yourself before Goodell can