Sewage Joe. Detlef Schrempf.

She's so much better than he is, by orders of magnitude.

Agoraphobia and social anxiety disorder.

Unless it was grazed, that kid's leg is gone. A 357 on a four year old leg is like hitting a stalk of celery with a claw hammer.

I would. I'm not quite that dopey. But in my head I'd be like "WHO'S A GOOD BOY!?"

It isn't hard - it's the easiest, most rewarding thing in life. But like honesty, we've been drilled to think it makes us look weak.

This I do not get. If I saw someone on a college campus walking with a dog, I'd be "Hey doggie!" The story would be: DOPEY GUY PETS SERVICE DOG.

I cannot tell or describe the deep, visceral sense of utter and abject disappointment, anger and sadness I felt when I first watched Animal Cops, only to see that the "cops" were goddamned human beings.

You got it all wrong! It's The LEERING Channel.

I'm an old guy, so I've tried to cram this into a "Michael Jordan is just like Trugoy the Dove" framework.

But why does Raquel Welch look so good?

You mean Satan's Vaults?

Your point is not a point. It is dumb. You are dumb. If I was to choose to be anyone 30 years ago, I would be Raquel Welch's boyfriend.

Delete this, please. And for all the suckers who posted your support.: You're really, really dumb and credulous, but I guess your hearts are in the right place.

I like this site immensely, but this story is just a provacative lie and needs to be deleted or addressed head on as a serious publishing mistake. If truth is anything you guys value (which is a question, a deep one, at this point) you'll deal with it. My guess is, you won't.

That's a lot of goddamned embedded video to prove your point, which is a good one. The way she laid it down, the way she dressed was pure country. Rely less on the embedded vids, it slows the scroll and makes you appear insecure.

This story is an absolute, monstruous lie, from beginning to end, and I am ashamed that the editors and commenters fell for it so very hard. You're going to have a busy night trying to verify it, failing, then trying to craft a mea culpa, which will also fail spectacularly.

"This story was bullshit from the first sentence . . . . "

This will not check out. It was never checked to begin with.