If I was filthy rich I would totally buy dragon eggs from GOT and then pay scientists to make dragons out of fossilized mosquitos n shit.

The NRA fights tooth and nail against mandatory waiting periods for purchasing guns. And those things have been known to, on occasion “terminate the life of a separate, unique, living human being.”

YOU TWO

oh yeah, thats it

Because you’re an idiot.

will someone tell me why i smoke these damn things

Then you are missing out.

Nothing wrong with Colin not dating. Someone’s entire life doesn’t have to have the pressures of high school.

ERIN AND SARAH’S MANSION IS THE SAME MANSION KOURTNEY AND SCOTT USED TO LIVE IN

TRUE. good call. I can be naive sometimes.

I’LL SAY IT. The bags are ugly. Bye.

Come get you a BJ.

Yeah, I feel that way about eyeliner. You would not believe how many eyeliners I have from beauty boxes. I almost never use eyeliner.

Oh man, you know I know what that’s like. Hang in there! We miss you too. I’m doing well, teaching a bit, trying to figure out my next career move into something more permanent. The Fuggler is currently living in our basement, keeping an eye out for burglars. He makes a good deterrent. Every so often I move him in the…

I apologize, but I must briefly hijack this thread to say, NAPSAUCE!!!

Queen Victoria's solution to unwed pregnancy was for the girl to buy a ring and let it be known the father was a sailor.

She’s right, though. I sprung fully-grown from my father’s forehead at about age 25. #Athena

I belong to a volunteer fire company (so, mostly dudes). Our method with any recurring project, including parties, is that you always appoint 2 people — Person A is in charge of the event/project, Person B is the assistant, who is there both as extra hands and to learn the ropes. The next time that event occurs,…

All I can say is that this is exactly what 1981 looked like, and that I need to lie down now.

There should totally be a boozinette open thread at the end of the week for experimenting with drinks and reporting back, drunk.