What kind of criminal would ring the door bell? If it was really closed, wouldn’t a criminal just break in and steal shit? He had the actions of someone acting like they wanted to buy stuff, not like he wanted to steal.

“So, how much does something like that cost? I’m just asking. For a friend.”

It’s only fair to hold players to the same standards as coaches. I mean, didn’t Steve Sarkisian just get fired for showing up on campus with a Jack Koozie?

“Like everything associated with a Sean Taylor jersey, this is a display of really, really bad judgment. Really, really bad judgment.”

“Hopefully, they didn’t miss the comeback.”

All this time I didn’t think Cousins sucked at FedEx field this week.

Upon finishing, the gentleman turned around and screamed, “YOU LIKE THAT?!?!”

It’s pretty impressive that food and beverage companies have managed to keep the recommended daily amount of sugar off of nutrition labels for this long. I read in a (probably unreliable) study that you should have something like 50 grams of sugar daily, which is less than a single 20oz bottle of Coke. Who knows if…

Rickety Cricket has put on some weight.

Hey now, Austin Rivers is more than just a Digital Media Intern.

Last time I tried something the Zen Master recommended I was tripping my balls off for 3 days straight.

Austin was going to show him how to tweet, but he tripped and swallowed his phone.

“The video then shows the student resisting and being arrested by the SRO.”

That’s Kevin McHale...

Quick question, though: Is there anything left in this world that doesn’t cause cancer?

I suppose I’ll just have to clog my arteries to such a degree that the cancer can’t get through

I’m sure Darren Rovell will tell you soon.

Some consider Garnett to be a maniacal asshole, but at least he had the courtesy to not back into Coach Saunders’ spot.

He’s got a long way to go to catch up to Sam Hurd, who was working a second job despite playing wide receiver during his NFL career.

[Days earlier]