80k in IOWA???????

Absolutely not.

She didn't post that photo for you, Chris Brown. She posted it for me. THANKS GIRL. <3

The only thing I consistently wake up and desire in my life is the option of pitching my alarm clock at the wall and going back to sleep. Well five days out of the week anyway.

I LIKE MY MEN LIKE I LIKE MY COFFEE

When I was still at a large law firm, the female partners were often said to have stay at home dad husbands. That usually meant something a little different— several worked at home, one was retired (they were older), one was a teacher (so he worked just not at a law firm, so I guess they didn't understand that was…

Oddly enough I felt the "biological clock" ovaries tug for a puppy, and now that Scallywag's in our lives, I'm all set! My body has not further requests. :)

TRUTH SPOKEN.

I don't think satire means what fratbro thinks it means.

I JUST WANT SOMEONE WHO LIVES IN MY APARTMENT WITH ME WHO I CAN PLAY PRANKS ON AND STUFF.

Yeah, but my yoga mat is woven from organic, free-range lentils so obviously I am winning.

I did both and neither worked out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the saddest part to me was #20 the Beer-rita!!!!

What's the etiquette on Mother of the Groom being involved in the bouquet toss?

Sucks I'm at work and thus without my usual Kinja login, so stuck down in the greys. Again.

FUCK Dr. Phil

I want to tell you more about the things that changed for me aside from the sexuality.

99% of the time i

Today I had my first conference call with my new boss and the rest of the team. She asked us to identify ourselves when we spoke "Until we all get to know each other's voices."