omg can your next story be on barbizon?? can you please walk in and apply to be a model? that would make us all very happy indeed.

Grindr. If you say anything other than Grindr, you're obviously straight or have standards.

there's one thing people don't tell you about wedding fairs: No one comes out the same way they came in.

I am reevaluating my thoughts on the death penalty rn, tbh

Dollar store Lenny Kravitz

The "fishy" and "beauty" girls just can't escape being mean C*NTS.

I'm convinced she is trolling us, just like Ann Coulter.

I feel your pain...For My 3rd Wedding (let's not judge ...you don't know Me) I had to have pockets made into My Bridal Dress....so I could carry My Glock 42 just in case My First Husband got out of Jail early.

"Be cool. Don't be all, like, uncool."

I'm on the ground floor! And it's too warm in here to close the window. But thankfully they have dispersed. They're not as bad as the girl who used to live next door who would have really loud sex with her window open and then always immediately call her grandmother after... I presume as some kind of penance.

she flew so high

I won't say that I secretly want to have a sleepover with Shep, but I won't say that I don't ...

Not divorced. But husband and I left the church and do not speak to MIL.

I always wondered why in all the photos of my parents wedding, my mother was always strategically placed standing behind the cake, a table, or a family member. But then I did the math between their wedding, April 25th, 1970, and my birth October 9th, 1970...

Not my wedding, but my cousin was being married by the priest at the church her and her family had attended forever. He knows them all so well that he does that classic old person thing of getting siblings' names mixed up. So of course, when he came to the vows he starts out "Do you [groom] take [bride's sister] to be…

A bridesmaid and her husband. They apparently decided that the open bar was a perfect place to fall off the wagon together. The husband tried to steal furniture from the reception hall (which was an old mansion) and load it in his truck. He was stopped by several groomsmen who told him all the items were up for…

My mother. Who took the opportunity during her toast to give my bride my bronzed baby shoes, saying "This is all I have left to give to you of my Gregory. The rest you've already taken for yourself"

It's hilarious to imagine some mild-mannered accountant waiting in the wings, half-dreading and half-begging for the scenario for where he has to save the integrity of the Oscars in front of tens of millions of people.

There were 1500 comments on this week's post—there was no way to go through all of them. In the previous weeks I have read them all, and I do not automatically choose the most starred. This week's selection does not reflect the most starred or most replied-to, either.

She needed a freshman textbook to learn about surfactants.