You'll need to go much further back than that to break my mind with nostalgia. Computer punch cards, Mark Hamill, pageboy hair cuts? Now you're talking.

That just made wine come out of my nose.

I feel like this is the most Jezebel post that's ever been on Jezebel.

Who the hell is that talking Pez dispenser at the beginning of the video? He's like a demon child spawn of Ellen and an itinerant sharecropper who mastered lettuce cutting in the Central valley.

I have a theory of Jay and Bey's relationship (even though I have never met them and have no actual knowledge of their relationship. Frankly, though, I would love to be in Bey's circle of girlfriends. That being said

It makes me happy that one of her last public appearances was saying the eff word on the Today show. I love this broad RIP.

I give this article 1 star out of 5. The text of the reviews is too small to read on my phone.

I like her as a person but Kerry is incredibly one note. If I see her chin wobble for every scene that requires her to emote I will smash my giant glass of red wine and risk splashing my white cashmere lounge wear and near by 50 coats.

I initially read that as "Hero Cat Carries Cop to Safety".

Katie Couric's bachelorette party included a nice mushroom soup.

What is it about Allison Janney. Cool, chic, sexy, decade after decade. Why doesn't everybody else stay home.

JANNEY

The older she gets, the more beautiful she becomes.

I just want to be one of her low-life man-friends on Mom. So. HOT.

MARRY ME

is there a unwritten rule that celebrities are allowed only one kid who is a decent human being?

Personally, I don't feel that the school yearbook is an appropriate place to share these views. Let me take that back. If the photograph was a part of a section of the yearbook specifically dedicated to a "year in review" type of segment or even an OpEd sort of thing, I'd be down for the cause. The way the picture…